Make a Difference

Each week the WhatFriendsDo.com staff participates – one or all of us – in numerous meetings. Some of these meetings only involve two of us, some involve medical professionals while other meetings involve community organizations.

Next week WhatFriendsDo.com is one of the sponsors for a fund-raising event that will benefit an incredible organization in Indianapolis called Second Helpings. As we’ve prepared for our part of the event, we’ve had several meetings.

Earlier this week five-year-old Claire asked her mommy if she could go to one of the WhatFriendsDo.com meetings. So last night Claire helped us prepare for next week’s fund-raiser. Much to our delight, she contributed several really good ideas! Much to her delight, we let her know how good her ideas were and she was able to see that her ideas are being implemented. She made a difference! I also believe that allowing her to participate and affirming her ideas also made a difference for Claire.

I can look back over the years and note some big things people did for me that made a difference. But I can look back and remember many, many, many little things so many people did that made a difference either to my life or to someone else’s. I expect if there was a game show that required contestants to give a quick answer to question “What did [friend’s name] do that made a difference to you?” the answers would be things like this:

• Told me my sweater was pretty
• Bought a cup of coffee for me
• Mowed my yard when I was out of town
• Sent a get well card to my mother
• Shoveled my sidewalk when it snowed
• Invited me to dinner
• Left a nice message on my answering machine while I was at oncology clinic
• Baked an angel food cake for my family
• Invited my son to her house to play
• Gave my husband two tickets to a football game

These are all simple things. Most cost no money and involve very little time or effort. But each one makes a difference.

Today is Make a Difference Day. Do what you can to celebrate it! Invite someone to a meeting, offer a compliment, do a random act of kindness or offer your help in some way.

Today’s Quote: Never underestimate what a simple gesture can do. It is the little things that you do that make a big difference in other people's lives. --Catherine Pulsifer

You Really Didn't Have To ...

The WhatFriendsDo.com website celebrates special days each and every day – as a means of helping friends stay in touch – even in the most difficult times. Today our celebration is called “You Really Didn’t Have To Day”

We’ve all said it; we’ve all heard it. Someone has surgery or a move to a new home and a friend brings a meal. “You really didn’t have to do this.” Someone welcomes a new baby to their home, and a friend invites older siblings to a fun activity. “You really didn’t have to do that.” Someone loses a dear loved one and a friend appears the morning of the funeral to polish everyone’s shoes. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

Of course these comments are usually followed by the phrase “but I’m SO glad you did.” And the response to that is usually “it’s what friends do.” (That’s exactly how we picked the name of the website, too!)

It seems that during the initial time period of a life-changing event – such as the week following a death, a birth, a devastating diagnosis – offers for help abound. But as everyone goes back to their day-to-day routines, people sometimes assume their friend no longer needs help. Sometimes people feel ashamed because time has passed and they never offered help. That’s the perfect time to offer!! Because if your friend is on your mind, chances are your friend really could use a helping hand. Of course you’ll get the usual “You really didn’t have to do that … but I’m so glad you did.” And you’ll reply “It’s what friends do.”

Today's Quote: Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. --Sally Koch

Words need to be shared

Here is the text on the WhatFriendsDo.com “Special Days” page for October 16: Dictionary Day – gosh, words are hard to describe this day! OK, OK … if you are so verklempt after reading your friend’s blog entry, don’t just sit at your computer – post a reply, make a guestbook entry, mail a snail-mail card, or pick up the phone. Your friend is sharing – so share back!

I have to admit that when I saw an online post where someone used the word ‘verklempt’ to describe the WhatFriendsDo.com website, I had to consult the dictionary. It was a new word for me.

Verklempt: Overcome with emotion

You see, WhatFriendsDo.com is so much more than technology. Sure, the technology part of it is certainly there. Creating a custom ‘team’ instantly that includes the blog, guestbook, help schedule, photos, team list and donations page involves plenty of technology. The Help Schedule involves some complex technology. But fortunately, users don’t have to worry about any of that!! And none of that brings anyone to feeling verklempt.

The outpouring of love through words is what amazes us and moves us when we read the blog posts, comments, and guestbook entries about our friend’s journey. If you’re on a team you probably check regularly to see if there are new posts, new guestbook messages, new team members. Not only do all those messages keep our friend going; they also keep the team connected, and keep the team active – which keeps the friend verklempt.

So share your words! Send a note via snail mail. Post a guestbook message. Post a comment to a blog entry. Refer to something your friend has posted on the blog – affirm that you ARE reading – you ARE concerned – you ARE verkelmpt. If you’re at a loss for the right words, maybe one of the quotes on the WhatFriendsDo.com home page will express what you are feeling. Post it on the Guestbook.

Today’s Quote: A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Unknown

Celebrate a new season with bulbs

Bulbs can be used as a symbol to represent a new season – whether the new season is happy or sad, by the time the bulbs bloom in the spring, the flowers will be a wonderful reminder that friends care. Here are a few reasons to plan a bulb planting celebration:

• To honor a friend who has recently passed away


• To celebrate the beginning of a friend being cancer free


• To celebrate the birth or adoption of a baby


• To celebrate a friend's new home

Bulbs can be planted in your friend's yard, or at a location that is near and dear to your friend's heart. Perhaps a pet rescue facility, a daycare center, a Habitat for Humanity home, a campsite or other place would enjoy some spring flowers. Plan an event and make it a special celebration for your friend.

• Be sure to get permission – from your friend or the person in charge of the facility you choose


• Ask friends to bring bulbs – either their choice, or if you want to make a particular design, you can indicate what kind of bulbs people should bring


• Ask friends to bring their own trowel


• Provide some light snacks – such as lemonade & cookies


• Begin the event with friends gathering in a circle to represent the unity of the group. Say a few (very brief!) words about why you are planting the bulbs. Don't be afraid of mentioning a deceased person – the acknowledgement will mean a lot to the family.


• Take some pictures of the activity and post them on your WhatFriendsDo.com team page!


• Be sure to take more pictures when the bulbs bloom!


• If your friend is not able to attend the event, have a card available for everyone to sign, and send it to your friend with a nice note acknowledging why the activity was planned.
  
  

Tell A Friend

Aimee and I spend a good bit of time – on a daily basis – spreading the word about WhatFriendsDo.com. We are passionate about making difficult journeys more bearable. Having been held up, pushed up, and pulled up by our friends during difficult times of our own lives, we know just how important it is for friends to stay close when the going gets awful.

Each day we see how many people are benefiting from the WhatFriendsDo.com experience, and we’re so eager to reach more people. We send emails to various organizations letting them know about the free WhatFriendsDo.com website to coordinate support and stay connected. We speak to groups (if you’d like to invite us, just send us an email… Fran or Aimee). We distribute brochures. We pass out cards. We’ll share some with you if you’d like!

As you probably know (we hope!) we ‘celebrate’ special days every day on WhatFriendsDo.com. Today happens to be Tell A Friend Day – and we’d sure appreciate you telling your friends / neighbors / co-workers / family about WhatFriendsDo.com.

Today’s Quote:
Tell me a fact and I'll learn.
Tell me a truth and I'll believe.
But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever.