Let’s say your friend was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. Everyone was very concerned and eager to help for months. You checked in regularly, or at least sometimes. You asked how things were going and thought about that friend all the time...for a while. Now some time has passed. Cancer is kind of a regular thing for your friend now. He or she goes to chemo, then heads home and maybe back to work and on with daily routines.
The thing is, your friend is still dealing with the cancer and still thinks about it every day. Even though you might have let it slip from the forefront of your thoughts, you likely feel a little embarrassed when you catch yourself talking about other things with your friend, acting like everything in the world is just fine.
So what should you do? You should contact your friend and let him/her know you are still thinking about the cancer. Not everyone can call a friend up and say “hey, sorry I’ve been busy and haven’t paid attention lately, but I wanted you to know I;m still thinking about you.” So if you’re not that kind of person, here are a few hints and tips...and encouragement for you to reach out.
- Do something special, out of the blue that says “I still remember and care and am still here for you” even if you’ve maybe not been good about showing it lately.
- Send a card/note. It doesn’t have to be purchased at the store; a piece of paper from home is fine.
- Send a gift card for gas or to a favorite restaurant, with a note mentioning a time the two of you bought gas for 43-cents a gallon, or a special memory you have of the two of you at the restaurant.
- Bake a pie, cake or cookies and deliver the goodies with some tea bags to provide a cozy afternoon snack.
- Send flowers. Who gets flowers on a random day out of the blue? What a treat!
Check What Friends Do for Cheer: there are daily ideas of fun ways to get in touch and stay in touch. Look through the upcoming monthly suggestions to see if there’s a day that will mean something to your friend, then reach out on that day.
If your friend has a whatfriendsdo.com team page, post a message on the guestbook. Even if the team page hasn’t been active in a while, there’s a good chance your friend is going to check back every once in a while just to see if there’s been any activity. The big smile that will appear on your friend’s face when your new message is read will be worth it!
However you decide is best to get back in touch with your friend, make sure you do it! Everyone needs a little encouraging to step back in, so here’s your push. If you still need more encouragement, send me a message and I’ll start nagging you!
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