Wednesday, January 25, 2012

It's never too late...

I just read an article full of tips to help tackle your to-do list and prevent procrastination.   Reading the article seemed a prefect way to put off my current to-do list!  The first suggestion was to start with the hardest item on your to-do list, the one you are most dreading.

On the top of my to-do list for the past four weeks (yes, I know!) has been to contact a friend who told me the week before Christmas that she and her husband lost a baby they were expecting.   I want to reach out to her right then.  To say I’m so sad for them.  Tell her she has been on my mind almost daily.  But in the hustle and bustle of the holidays I didn’t get around to it.  Then after the New Year, kids went back to school, things were busy with work, and I still didn’t send her a message.  I continue to drive past her house almost daily and think about her, and her lose, and the precious baby she will never hold.  But it’s been so long now since she shared this information with me, I feel guilty for not getting back to her sooner.

Right now I’m thinking too much about me, and my guilt and shame, and it’s NOT ABOUT ME.  It’s about her.  And I’m sure she’s still hurting from her loss and she needs friends close right now.

So right now, I just sent an email to her.  It was short and to the point.

“Are you free for lunch this week?  Tuesday and Wednesday are best.  What works for you?
You have been on my mind daily and I’m so sorry it has taken me this long to reach out.
I look forward to giving you a hug soon.”

It’s checked off my list, which is nice for me, but what’s best is that I’ve reached out again.  No, I shouldn’t have taken this long, but I did.  Now I need to move forward and be the best friend I can be.  She is going through a very difficult time and needs support, no matter how long it has been.

No matter what the situation, or how long you have waited, get back in touch, because it’s never too late to be a good friend. 


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Only the Best

January 20 is Only The Best Day on WhatFriendsDo.com. There are so many different ways to think about what “only the best” means. My initial thoughts are around wanting to do only the best for my friends when they need my help. If taking a meal, I want to fix only my best recipe, and take it in my best serving dishes. I want to deliver it at the time that is best for my friend. I want the best dessert to be included. I want to create the best possible moments for my friends so they can hopefully relax for just a short time in the midst of their difficult situation.

Another perspective for the day is that we want Only The Best attitude and outcome for our friends. We know times get tough. We know everyone needs a pity party, and sometimes those pity parties last quite awhile. We don’t expect our friends to be giddy about a medical challenge, but we do hope for the best for their ability to cope with the situation. We have to hope for only the best, and know that the best for one person is totally the opposite of the best for another.

When it comes to which friends can/should help, Only The Best gets ruled out in my book. I call my bestest buds my “3am friends” – the ones that if I needed help at 3am I know I could call them and they would help me even at that awful hour. I am very blessed to have a rather long list of 3am friends, and there are some ways that I would want Only The Best friends involved when I need to enlist the help of friends. But there are so many other friends in my life and I know they would want to be part of my journey, just as I would want to be part of theirs in their times of need. That’s why I love the team concept we use on WhatFriendsDo.com . It allows all of those various circle of friends to be involved. The 3am friends can coordinate the help, as they would know what is truly needed. But the best buds don’t need to be fixing all the meals, running all the errands, doing all the laundry. Friendships come in so many different forms, just as friends come with so many different personalities. It is sometimes so amazing to see that a casual friend is often the one who is needed the most.

Whatever Only The Best might mean for you, please take action and either help a friend, get in touch with a friend, or do an act of kindness for a medical staffer. Afterward – guaranteed you will definitely feel your best!